(sniff) Storm Troopers Have Feelings Too

I can't take credit for this.  My friend posted it from a Facebook page.  Kudos to whomever.

Liberal Douche Bag Celebrity of the Day

Global warming threatens to create climate change at a scale that will threaten human life on earth. Desertification is already beginning to decay social and politcal fabrics in sub-saharan Africa. Oil is reaching a breaking point, a point at which demand and supply will tip and the global energy infrastructure could collapse causing major electricity and gas shortages. Water supply is now at such a crisis point that millions are dying every year from diseases which have known and simple cures, but require clean water.

No need to worry. Ed Norton, whose vast experience in environmental sciences includes pretending to be a childhood icon named Smoochy the Rhino, has the answer.


Children of Africa, sleep well tonight. Ed Norton brings his own bag to the grocery store and when the Islamic militants who are circling your refugee camp while fighting a centuries long war find out, they will run away in fear and never return.

Celebrities, here's a tip on avoiding becoming a liberal douche bag. Stick to what you're good at. When it comes to saving the environment, there are a lot of other people in the world who are much better at it than you. Ed, for example, is much better singing off camera with his liberal douche bag friends.

No shit, this was really my first tray in Inappropriate Scrabble

For the uninitiated, we play Inappropriate Scrabble.  In a way it follows exactly what this blog is for - making the right people laugh.  It's a perfect game to entertain a small group (like normal Scrabble) except we don't care about winners and losers, we care about who can come closest to offending another human while still keeping them from suppressing a giggle.  

This version of the classic Parker Brothers game is surprisingly similar to the original Scrabble  except for the fact that we've tossed out the parts that stifle creativity and open it up to unapologetic, crass, offensive and, as the name suggests, inappropriate humor.  Here are variations of the rules:

1. No scoring.
2. Trading letters with people is OK.
3. Spelling does not matter and abbreviations are OK.
4. If you can describe the entry in a sentence, it's acceptable. 

There was an episode of "Mad About You" a number of years ago that perfectly exemplified this idea.  Paul, Ira and Marvin were out for a boys' night and Marvin revealed something personal.  Paul suggested the reason for this was that he was "a big sissy" knowing that what he was saying was the worst possible response in the situation.  Later he connects with a man at a bar who in turn tell him of his courageous triumph over drinking to which Paul says, "that's terrific, let me buy you a drink to celebrate."He strikes out all night.  Finally he gets home gushing to his wife, Jamie, about how he missed she and their baby.  She greets him warmly and walks away calling him, "sissy."  To which he responds, "THANK YOU."  MORAL OF THE STORY:  Sometimes the worst comment in a situation is also the funniest, and a wise person knows when to lay it out there.

Cheetos - Eye on the Prize

Here's an awesome video for Cheetos. If we are one of the top 20 teams, we get a year supply of Cheetos. Who decides what that means?...Cheetos defines it at 52 coupons at a value of $3.59/coupon.

The Double Whammy, Double Huckle, Twin Dongs for Your Weekend Enjoyment

HOLY CRAP!

I'm a little skeeved out by the splashing water all over the place.  Kudos to anyone getting this type of enjoyment out of a bidet.  Kinda tickles the nether-region doesn't it.

Oh and to the lovely Catholic School Girl in my life and really, in all our lives, a tribute from the Red Hot Chili Peppers.  Take it away!

Allow me to introduce myself

Yo. I am Catholic School Girl. I have taken the liberty to assign names to each of us so we can appropriately yet discreetly speak to each other. I am Catholic School Girl, the one I live with is Elvis Dancer. You other yahoos are Jack Tripper and Big Nut. You know who you are.

I heard something funny today. "I lost my virginity, but I still have the box it came in."

2 girls 1 cup

Thanks a lot, anonymous friend who happens to have one very large testicle. Now I'll never eat chocolate icecream out of a cup ever again. For those who have never seen the video, don't. Seriously, it will scar you and not a cool Harrison Ford chin scar. More like a Margot Kidder complete meltdown scar.

So I'll spare you the actual video and describe it, as it's best to describe anything, in a song.

A Good Place to Start

I'm coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine.
- Mr. Brightside, by The Killers

Oh it feels great to be able to just say stuff and not worry about who's going to know.

I thought this would be a nice place to start.

Enjoy.